No titled Poem

I let the rain drench me as my being cries,

The cold drops instead of the warm stream from my eyes,

Numb me universe from the pain I feel,

Surround me in cold so that I do not remember your warmth.

My heart wants to sway to the thunder,

Wishing the lightning strikes and ignite the embers within deeper,

Letting out an invisible sigh into the universe,

Praying God would hear me amongst the angst of my curse,

The only warm companion is the cigarette on my lips,

Should I let it be until it burns them to crisp?

Sore Dilemma

 

My mind snapped from the trance and realized that I have been staring at the bloody typewriter for the past half hour.

Life had made a mockery of my existence and now my mind was devoid of thoughts, ideas … feelings.

The dull pain throbbed, a sincere companion for past few days. It had now penetrated through the temples, crawled into the eye sockets finally blurring my vision.

I stood up and placed myself on the bed. The pain intensified and fatigue drained me almost instantly. I shut my eyes and felt myself sinking within in a never-ending space. When I opened my eyes, I saw myself lying on the bed. I stood beside my bed, watching myself asleep. Even in sleep, I did not look peaceful. It was night and the moon was full tonight.

Next moment, I found myself walking towards the cemetery. I wanted to turn away or stop dreaming but I just could not. Something was calling to me. The day had ended and the night was eerily ghoulish. As I was walking across the cemetery, I could see several lights floating above each tombstone, ready to depart to the heavens above. My feet stopped at a small gravestone.

Cherubs and roses adorned the gravestone and it read Amelia James (2010-2015).

The child at the tombstone smiled at me

“You have finally come to see me Dada”, she said.

My knees gave way and I knelt before her and cried.

“It’s okay dada,     I am happy you have come. Now I can go away with the angels. Can you hear them sing too?” she asked me with those big beautiful eyes. She had her mother’s eyes. I gazed at her in defeat. I had lost her in a car accident. I was driving the car when the car skid and hit a tree. Amelia did not survive.

I lost my child because of me…

My thoughts interrupted with a tingle on my cheek. Amelia had kissed me and she was not alone. Beside her stood two figurines with massive wings. Their glow calmed and soothed me like a child in his mother’s arms.

I knew then they were there to take my dear Amelia to a better place. Amelia kept her hand over my heart and whispered, “I love you forever dada. Mommy and I will be watching you along with the angels.”

A blinding light engulfed my eyes and I opened my eyes to see myself back in my room. My pillow was wet and I was drenched in sweat. Amelia gave me a second chance in life and I will live this life for her. I got up from my bed and I stood by the window and stared at the dark sky above.

I saw two stars twinkling at me letting me know that I am not alone anymore.