No titled Poem

I let the rain drench me as my being cries,

The cold drops instead of the warm stream from my eyes,

Numb me universe from the pain I feel,

Surround me in cold so that I do not remember your warmth.

My heart wants to sway to the thunder,

Wishing the lightning strikes and ignite the embers within deeper,

Letting out an invisible sigh into the universe,

Praying God would hear me amongst the angst of my curse,

The only warm companion is the cigarette on my lips,

Should I let it be until it burns them to crisp?

Reflections….to my past

Being 20s is the age where emotions are on overdrive and everything will seem like its the end of the world.

You would think your first love will be the last.

Your first kiss will be enough to last a lifetime.

Your emotions at this point are so innocent and pure that u think the world around is like you – pure and untainted.

When this world deceits you, you become so bitter and angry that it consumes you whole.

Let your soul free and experience the world as it is…. without prejudice and accept it with all its faults.

It is okay to fail, it is okay to cry and it is okay if your heart breaks in the process.

It is not the end of the world.

Love yourself first, to the point that you are not afraid to walk away from what isn’t right for you.

Where you don’t have to please people around you just because.

Love and love again so that one day you grow to be a better person who has so much to offer.

Don’t forget your roots, the world can be an enchanting place – choose your path so that you have no regrets later. Even if you do mistakes, own it.

Because you owe it to yourself.

Blind

Coming to my senses, finally things are clear,

How could I be so stupid and wished I was a seer,

Blinded in my love for you,

Thought it was the same for you.

How feeble is your love I see,

So shallow and fake as thee.

 

A woman in love is what you saw,

The weakness in me is what gave you power to soar,

Go ahead and set your wings to fly,

All the best my friend, I shall no longer cry.

 

God has given me the strength to fight,

I am no quitter and you know that for a fact,

My tears no longer will shed for you,

My love for you was pure, I wished so were you.

 

My heart broken and soul shattered,

Your selfish reasons is all you mattered,

If this was, theatre and we played an act,

You would make a fine actor in fact.

 

I am numb and color blind,

No longer, see love in my mind,

Go ahead and set your wings to fly,

All the best my friend, I shall no longer cry.

Chance

Let us give us a chance again in Love,

Let us give each other a chance in Love somehow.

Somewhere down the lane, we thought we held each other’s hand,

However, in reality, we walked further away into some devious wonderland.

 

A wonderland of deceit but beautiful creatures,

Creatures that shaped to your heart’s secret desires.

Tempting and tugging your heart,

Finally, you gave in and went apart.

 

The demons haunted me day and night,

It festered control of me and overpowered the light,

I turned into something, I did not realize,

I lost the sight of you, at its price.

 

We ventured further away, lost in our demons,

Maybe never to see each other….ever again,

The last final shred of thread might have tugged somewhere,

I opened my own eyes in despair.

 

Demons pulling me back to take control,

My eyes searching for you and for my soul,

I saw you in the devious wonderland,

You lost your sight of me, I understand.

 

I knew I lost you, but it is not permanent,

I knew I could get you back though I was broken to an extent,

Your eyes tranced with the creatures of deceit,

You could not see the struggles at my side.

 

See my heart, I screamed and tore my heart out,

The demons screeched with delight at the sight of your doubt,

Now, you finally see me as I hold my beating heart,

The silly heart that beats for you from the very start.

The smaller and cuter things in life

Just when I thought marriage brings the absolute change in life…

A fragile, quivering, puppy-eyed bambina changed my perception …

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Suddenly everything revolves around this tiny, angelic being. Thoughts all gravitate towards her health, her sleep, her nutrition, her burps, the number of wet diapers in a day….the list goes endless.

Waking up in the middle of the night is not a task anymore. My ears have tuned to her every whimper, cry and complaint.

My mornings start with her toothless – double chinned smiles and her warmth lets me know she is for real.

The most beautiful thing of motherhood is how much you are ready to put your life aside to be there for your child. The gift of selflessness we receive when we give birth.

I can only understand my mother more now than ever before. Her sacrifices, her unconditional love and her worries all makes sense to me now….

As you lie curled in my arms, away from the sight of the world – I wish I could keep you like this forever.

My mind will forever etch this memory of you finding sanctuary in my arms.

You will be 3 months now, how time flies and how much I will cherish every milestone you have achieved and yet to achieve….

A simple thank you my little child for making me a better person

Mama loves you …

Life is all about change!

I thank God for constantly changing my life and making it worth living every second. As we step into adulthood, we tend to appreciate life and see things in a very different perspective. I guess that is what we call growing up or growing old.

What changed my life currently?

The Thadathil family had a landslide of babies – (baby boys to be exact) in the last year.

My brother and sis-in-law gifted our family with a child again – a beautiful baby boy named Joshua. He smiles and laughs at people and he resembles so much to his sister Joann.

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My favorite niece, Joann is as spirited as ever and such an adorable darling. Miss her so much… She has grown up so quick! She has started going to playschool and pats on every baby who cries. She definitely has the big-sister personality in her.

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From my fingers to the toes, I have this great itch to just hold Joann and Joshua and just nibble on them. I know it sounds cannibalistic but I guess it is the only (extreme) way how I can convey my immense love for them. It is so frustrating when you have siblings so far away and it’s sad how much I miss out on their growth.

My cousin brother had a baby boy and the good part is since they live just next door all my love is diverted to this little champion. I was able to exercise a photobooth which included various mustache and shades.Got some hilarious shots !!!

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This year 2014 is a special year for me. I am embarking my journey to motherhood….. with lots of anticipation. It is a different feeling to carry your child within you and just marvel how your body nurtures the little one inside.

The little one now is moving around with delicate ballerina movements and like any mother, I look forward for every ultrasound scans. Super excited to what lies ahead of me and I know things will never be the same anymore.

So readers, do tell me what changes are happening in your life… I would love to hear all about it… 🙂

Happy Reading!!