Chance

Let us give us a chance again in Love,

Let us give each other a chance in Love somehow.

Somewhere down the lane, we thought we held each other’s hand,

However, in reality, we walked further away into some devious wonderland.

 

A wonderland of deceit but beautiful creatures,

Creatures that shaped to your heart’s secret desires.

Tempting and tugging your heart,

Finally, you gave in and went apart.

 

The demons haunted me day and night,

It festered control of me and overpowered the light,

I turned into something, I did not realize,

I lost the sight of you, at its price.

 

We ventured further away, lost in our demons,

Maybe never to see each other….ever again,

The last final shred of thread might have tugged somewhere,

I opened my own eyes in despair.

 

Demons pulling me back to take control,

My eyes searching for you and for my soul,

I saw you in the devious wonderland,

You lost your sight of me, I understand.

 

I knew I lost you, but it is not permanent,

I knew I could get you back though I was broken to an extent,

Your eyes tranced with the creatures of deceit,

You could not see the struggles at my side.

 

See my heart, I screamed and tore my heart out,

The demons screeched with delight at the sight of your doubt,

Now, you finally see me as I hold my beating heart,

The silly heart that beats for you from the very start.

Things I cribbed and later missed deeply about my parents…

Being the youngest of the family had its perks and fun. My parents were the nurturing ones literally. Even when I was 28, my dad used to iron my clothes for the next day and my mom prepared and packed my lunch as I rushed to work. My mom was my stylist who would shrug when she didn’t like my attire or would just look happy if I looked nice.

I am not saying I was a slob or made my parents do it. I am kind of a last moment person whereas my parents were methodical. I guess it is one of those traits you get when you step into parenthood.

Coming from work to drink my mom’s tea was something I really looked forward to. We both sit to drink this extra-strong ginger tea and chatter away. I’d make coffee for dad and we three relax into the evening until its dinner time.

Mama – our family nutritionist will cook what the best for us. Generally no junk food, usually the dinner would be veggies, salads and lots of fruits. I sometimes complain when I don’t get the food I want enough.

The next day, mom would wake up to cut cucumbers for me for lunch. At the office I distribute it to my bachelor colleagues who are more than happy to consume healthy along with their restaurant food. Back then, I used to dislike my traditional food because it was something that was readily available at home.

Yes, I was a princess in my house now to think of it. Now since mom and dad are back to our native country, the things I complained about are the ones I missed the most.

Now I crave for some traditional mother-made food. I remember those times when mama fed me when I was just too lazy to lift the plate. There is something about being fed by mothers because they may not mix too much with the rice but the turnout would be the most tastiest thing one’s taste-buds would have ever had !!

“You can eat for up to 10 people in this process”, my dad says in a not-so-pleased-manner.

I remember some evenings, dad leaves home and comes back after hours and I used to complain why he isn’t at home to spend time with us. I would ask him to relax when he complains about his back.Now I understand how meticulously he goes to pay the bills, renew the house rent, takes the car for the regular service check, takes clothes for laundry and buys faucets or bulbs when something needs to be fixed. He was an immediate in-house electrician who would fix the problem almost instantly. I have never seen a problem remain for more than a day.

When the bills arrive in huge bundles, my dad takes a seat and opens up every bill. The troubled look when he sees an unexpected amount used to humor me.

Now when my phone gets cut due to payment delay, when a tap needs to be fixed, the rent needs to be paid… my thoughts always goes to dad.

So many invisible actions which are done by parents are never noticed; they are those people who doesn’t want appreciation or acknowledgement for their work. They just do it without any hesitation and the safety and security I got even when I was 28 was remarkable.

When they left, the “28-child-me” had to grow up instantly to “28-adult-me”.

The comfort of home, the warmth of love and the essence of caring diminished from the very apartment I was brought up in. Even the things at home resorted to sadness as they begin to break down..literally!!!

Replacing them was removing a segment of my memories. Even knowing that they are just materials but the fact that my parents have once touched them … replacing them brought tears to my eyes.

Coming to an empty home is still one of the hardest things and the ginger tea no longer tasted good.

Miss you Mama…

Miss you Dada…

Moment of Truth : As I approach 30

Age to women is like kryptonite to Superman ~ Kathy Lette

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I will be turning 30 soon. I have read people make long lists on what they will do before they turn 30. I wish I could share the same enthusiasm but turning 30 is like swallowing a huge vitamin pill. Past few months, I could scarcely fathom this fact and from then every passing second was an enemy. Every mirror I pass, my eyes scans for any creeping wrinkles. As I comb my hair, my creepy mind searches for that one strand of a white hair… yea.. I was freaking out.

The inevitable truth dawns in me today that life is all about change. Me being 30 was not only the change in my life but I thank the Lord for granting me another year to witness the changes happening around me….

Family
Family

My big brother now a father of a beautiful, fun-loving girl. A loving and caring husband and the Best father #2 ( Taking after our dad of course). It is wonderful to see how my brother has turned into this nurturing papa bear. You get to learn a lot from the people you love. The immense patience of parenthood, the sacrifices, the joys and laughter that family gives you. No matter how time flies or how old we become there are some things that doesn’t change in my family. The goofiness never goes and you are happy that the crazy streaked brother of yours is still there !!! To compliment the whole picture, my SIL ( sis-in-law ) is a long lost friend and I love her even more for giving us such a fun loving angel !!

Daddy's Girl
Daddy’s Girl

My parents, now grandparents cradling their granddaughter in their arms. I had always cherished this moment of how they cradle the young one.. I am sure they are reminiscing their times when they held us .  ( Read how they first met their granddaughter and more in my blog ” Thadathil- Style of vacation “ )

Nothing can bring back youthfulness like being with grandchildren. Proven fact – I have seen this !!

GrandParent's Pride and Joy
Grand Parent’s Pride and Joy

My baby cousin sister has become a mother of a beautiful baby boy. Such an emotional moment for me. My little sister who imitated my every move when we were small, who has been a good friend as we grew from teenhood to womanhood and here she is as a mother. She has given me so many good memories. Love you L, you are as vibrant as a rainbow !!

Lej

My Guardian Angel-now-husband beside me to steady my world. Life would never had been the same. We were meant to have our paths crossed in the street called LOVE. I am glad you found me before I got lost.

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Plato quotes

“He who is of a calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition, youth and age are equally a burden.” 

So, when life can be beautiful with these changes of life, then I think turning 30 won’t be that bad after all. Right ? 

Word of Advice from a Friend: Marriage

My dearest friend,

You will be embarking into a place where everything will be new and different. As you step into this world, there will be places which your feet can get wet, this is the time when your better half will carry you in his arms and take you across. Now you will have a partner-in-crime in all that you do. A playmate to make life happy and peaceful.

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Marriage is a commitment which will constantly test you and make you a better person. You will complete him and he will know how much life has been better with you around. It is a workout where two different minds begins think alike and share a life together bettering their future.

I would like to quote Shashi from English Vinglish

This marriage is a beautiful thing… It is the most special friendship… friendship of two people who are equal

Life is a long journey…..sometimes you will also feel you are less than the other person

Try to help each other to feel equal…. It will be nice

Sometimes… married couples don’t even know how the other is feeling So… how they will help the other?

That is the time you have to help yourself….. Nobody can help you better than you

If you do that… you will return back feeling equal…..your friendship will return back…

Your life will be beautiful….maybe you’ll very busy… but have family… son…daughter…

in this big world… your small little world …. It will make you feel so good

Family… family can never be…never be judgmental!

Family will never… put you down… will never make you feel small

Family is the only one who will never laugh at your weaknesses

Family is the only place where you will always get love and respect

I wish you all the best

Even though I can’t make it for your special day, my love and wishes will be always there for you..

Lots of Love….