In two years of marriage, there are some things which you can consult and take advice. But there are a few pointers which you have to deal with yourself and these are very important in a relationship.
Here are the few tough things I am still learning :
When two people are joining in marriage, there is interplay of many factors. Two different minds which worked in different ways try to sync themselves as one.
The concept of “opposites attract” may not work for all. The only binding factor initially to marriage will be the things you have in common so that you can do things together. This syncing takes time, sometimes can take a toll in a relationship because it would be a constant process.
This may sound childish but this process reminds me of software updates, which keeps prompting you to update your PC’s or iPhone’s Operating system.
Are we able to do the same in our life?
Bickering and Misunderstandings
Misunderstandings are the hard corners during the “adjusting” time but confiding in each other and reconciliation is the stepping stone for a successful marriage.
Marriage definitely requires a 100% transparency like two people living in a glass house. Openness and true revelation of oneself can never hinder the grounds of marital bonds.
Accepting the inevitable Truth
Life is never perfect, marriages are never perfect. Our imperfections are what make us who we are individually.
The things which once were cute would irritate you as you step into marriage. But if you wanted a spouse as perfect as you want them to be, maybe he/she will not be the same person you once liked.
Dealing with Misunderstandings
Reconciliation is the toughest task in marriage. When egos clash, we remain blind and deaf. Marriage is not a competition which proclaims a winner. Whoever wins in an argument ends up losing everything the same time.
Have you felt good after an argument in which you had the final word?? Why is that we feel so terrible and empty even though we felt we “won” the conversation? Talking and communicating is the key element to understanding each other. Even if the matter may be trivial at that moment, it is important to share with him/her.
No one will be as understanding as your spouse.
Simple things to follow:
- Address the issue
- Make sure the two of you sit and have a talk about it
- Always LISTEN and try to understand what the person wants to convey
- Question when you want to understand the situation further
- Never interrupt while he/she is talking
- Make sure you solve the issue before you go to sleep
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